…YOU DAMN DIRTY APE!
What could have caused this 520 dollar 12K bulb to bubble and blowout?
There is a reason that bulbs always come with a couple of alcohol wipes.
This is the box used to ship three small steel D-rings (see box bottom) from New York to Toronto:
This is the packing material used for those three pieces:
No regards to shipping costs, because size does matter.
No regards to the environment given the amount of packing material used.
NO, WE DEFINITELY RETURNED THAT!
The rental company reported that some gear was missing from a job last week.
The customer was incredulous, believing it must have been returned perhaps on the package truck.
The rental company checks, but can’t locate the missing gear.
The customer goes back to the location the following week and oops, there it is.
NO CASE FOR THIS DISGRACE
A new $7000 Arri Sky Panel and it’s case did make it back to AE after a job, although it is usually best to transport the light inside the case, not beside it.
This little bang gave rise to a repair that cost over $400.
CRITICISM HAS BEEN LEVELLED
DRIVER REPORT READ:
Dear: Mr Equipment ManagerTruck /Driver et al.
Take a look at that level. Does it have an AE sticker on it like every other piece of equipment on that truck? Was the level AE blue like all the other tools on that truck? Is it the make of any other tool on any truck at AE?
The answer to all of the above is no, and guess why? That is not the level we bought. So if you find the grip that swapped that piece a crap for the one we supplied, everyone should be fine.
Better yet, if you and the other Equipment Managers/Truck Drivers did your jobs and ensured that the same gear handed off the truck gets returned in good order we would never have shitty tools or missing tarps.
Hey wait a minute, maybe the tarps on the shelf with the 1.25” letters that says “Tarps”.
In a daring daylight rescue, hero truck driver Mike Chase takes back AE level held hostage by callous Art Department worker.
Proof that years of experience driving, doesn’t guarantee courteousness or common sense.
Or better yet why not park in the 45 foot long space where you are supposed to park?
AE LOST AND FOUND
Did you lose a Bob Marley Hash Pipe?
Found at the bottom of a laundry bin loaded with gear. You were probably using this while handling our gear on set. Possibly you were a PA driving a vehicle filled with our gear. The mind wanders with possibilities when such a treasure is found. Come on by and pick it up. We’d like to meet you.
HIT AND PARK
“There was a really big and extremely visible box of wood in front of me and I drove forward into it with my small car when I was parking!”
Who does this?
Who hires a guy that doesn’t know how rain works?
The only thing worse than leaving expensive electronics in the rain is not saying or doing anything about it afterwards.
Why did this ballast fail?
Hint: Why do you think there are air vents on lights and ballasts?
The incompetent idiot that did this should not be working in the industry.
Remember when I asked you not to put the Genny on the sand?
Well you didn’t listen to me.
Here is a pic of the piles of sand that fell out. What we can’t show you is the sand that got sucked through the engine, damaging it to a point where the generator was a right-off!
Can you cure stupidity with Electrotherapy?
Bet they wouldn’t leave their cell phone or laptop in the rain, but this is how professionals handled our electronics.
Brand new $2400 ballast, first job it was ever out on and this is how it gets returned.
“WHAT HAPPENS IF I DO THIS AFTER HOURS?”
1. Alarms start going off like crazy and the security company is called in?
2. My permission as a PA/Production Manager with access to the building after hours is in serious jeopardy of being immediately revoked?
3. My production gets charged a $400 fine to pay for the above security call and the AE employee who must come in and close it?
4. As per the signed contract, my Production Manager is personally on the hook for anything removed from the building while the building is unsecured?
5. All of the above?
Why yes, all of the above!
WHAT IS THIS!
A – A constellation in the night sky?
B – The bullet holes in the door panel from Bonnie and Clyde’s car?
C – A Kino-flo fixture hung by someone who doesn’t care that replacement cost of this part is $225?
SOMEONE DIDN’T HAVE A SHAPE-O-BALL AS A CHILD!
This is a Shape-0-Ball. It was designed to help kids learn to use appropriate holes.
This is a Kino light. It was designed with grommets in case someone wants to mount it in a difficult area. Can you see the grommets?
Without a Shape-O-Ball a child may grow up and ignore the appropriate holes and just make new ones at random. Look how close this child got to the bottom grommet but still couldn’t master it. Poor kid.
BEWARE: SWEENEY TODD IS A GRIP
1. This is how we send curved track out, with foam zip tied to the rails for protection.
2. A competent person would take their blade or better yet side cutters to the bottom or even the side of the track.
3. A hack would slice through the foam gouging the track and destroying the foam so that it gets returned unprotected.
4. The resulting damage means that the track gets sent back to the manufacturer for costly repairs.
YOU’VE EARNED EPIC FAIL POINTS!
WHEN YOU PICKED UP TENTS PACKAGED LIKE THIS
AND THEN YOU RETURNED THE TENTS LIKE THIS
Q.What happens when a digital green screen is used as flooring and is walked all over?
A. Magic fairies clean and mend it.
B. Future users say “Don’t worry, we can shoot around the holes and fix the spots in post.”
C. The green screen is on its way to a new home.
WE DIDN’T PAY FOR THE SHIPPING ON THIS ONE
But we still died a little on the inside when it showed up.
“THE APPLE BOX HAS MANY USES, BUT MAKING A S’MORE ISN’T ONE OF THEM”
Someone thought leaving a wood box beside a bonfire was a good idea.
THE PARKING PERMIT SAYS IN BIG BLACK BOLD LETTERS:
“DO NOT BACK IN!”
But you were right sir, this is so much better.
“THEY’LL NEVER NOTICE, IT’S JUST A SCRATCH!”
A PA’s attempt to sneak around a parked car in our lot with a cube van.
“SENT BACK FULL LIKE THIS”
This just reeks of a lack of effort.
“I’M GONNA LOAD THIS CAMERA GEAR”
“NEW TENT ABUSE”
We guess some guys on set are so used to the old tents out there with tired unreliable velcro that they’ve forgotten new velcro is very effective and requires peeling, not pulling or yanking.
“HOW SHOULD I LOAD THIS?”
Should I put the light under the 200 lbs. of cable or vice versa?
“THE $800 ANSWER”
If the question at the time was: “Why do we wait for the light to cool down and then properly remove the bulb before closing the case?”
Aug 14, 2012